| Relapse. To a lot of people its just a word. For me it
characterizes my year until this point. I saw myself becoming who I
used to be. I have been pursuing trains of thoughts that I
thought had passed. Feeling that every passing face is someone that I
used to know. Not that I want to know them or that they looked
familiar, but that I used to know them. I've been trying desperately to
claw back to a time where I was most happy.
On spring break of last year, I spent a week with four really cool
people. I remember them being intelligent people with good taste in the
things that I knew mattered.
They were funny, and had views that I thought were similar to mine.
Everything we did that week made sense. Yes, I smoked pot, I watched
yellow submarine, listened to music and chilled on the beach. And got
really fuckin' sunburnt. Back then I was ignorant and happy about it.
I was drawn to them so much that I wished that it wouldn't end so I
invited them to a party I was having the following weekend. Something
happened at the party which I think can bear no more repeating even if
I wanted to. By no means are there any sore feelings or unsaid
words on my part. But that marked the end of... of, well I want to say
era, but it was more of a period, for at least me.
I've spent alot of time trying to reach that former glory. Trying to
reach back to that week where I was happy. Not that I'm miserable now
or anything, but I'm not as happy as I was then.
I've come to the realization that yes, I would be happier if I were
smoking, but personal success if wholly more fulfilling. I don't know
where it came from or how I came upon it but I think I've found new
hope. I've decided not to commit myself to failure, not to commit
myself to an undesirable fate. I've decided to give success a shot at
me. Myself a shot at success.
I may be doomed. Very good chance, in fact, and I'm ok with that. As for the present, I am Frank. And Frank must go. |
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| Only the sixth?!
Eff that
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| The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Sixth Level of Hell - The City of Dis!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test |
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| My schedule will be fixed tomorrow
yay?
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| Erg still the having of only 4 of my correct classes plagues me. Not
that I need more homework but I'd like to get settled y'know? All in
all it's good to be back.
until later, the corpse bride is coming
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